Monday, November 27, 2006

Conflick btw Responsibility vs. Interest

You must be interested how our bachelor party was right?
to be honest?.. it was nothing that special. But in a way, we kinda appreciate the time that we had with bro. Christian. The made-up story that we told the laddies was more interesting than the actual fact. Hahaha..

After my sunday activities with my friends, I went straight to my sister house. I told her about all the things happen for next week that involves me which was, the weddding on Saturday and I had the Carol Practice plus CSI on Sunday after sunday service. And she told me about her plan to move house on the same weekend. !!!! She pretty deseppointed about all the things that I told her. Well.. It was more musical sound of anger and diseppointment as the kettle, kictchen wear become instant musical instrument. She compose a lyric inspired by the emotion and her mood at that moment. I couldn't stand melody and intense emotion that she created. My desire for coffee was suddenly die and hoping the floor swallow me alive right than.

I went out for a fresh air and a bit not so fresh air to clear my mind. And think of other options that I can think of.. an alternatives. Think of some plan that can work on everybody expectation, and my own desire. In the end, decided, family is more important and I should do the rigth thing, which mean that a secrifice of my own desire to fullfill others happiness. I went back in, and spell out the things that I have to let go for her. She didnt flinch a bit for moment. And unexpected question come from her...

"Why aren't you go for the wedding?"

er.. Isn't that what this is all about? not to do what I want?..stop! a response from me is needed.. be carefull.. not to start the musical and songs again.

"I tell Chris that I need to help my sister to move house". I said

That seem to satisfies her. Ok.. time to go home now before I change my mind.

while walking to my place... I shed a tears, and quickly wipe it off. I do not understand the tears for... its all mix up in my head... the Important wedding of a friend? the Carol singing practice that I'm going to miss? the Halleluyah Chorus last practice?the coldness treatment from few friends? or the way my sister behave?.. I do not know. Maybe I should sleep on it.

Yes, I really did took a nap.. all these thinking making my head feels heavy. I woke up and shed another tears. knowing that I cant really do anything about it... I must tell Rachel or Immanuel to look for someone else to replace me. Maybe its just not for me right now... and I should give 100% of my time for my sister. I dont blame her.. she must be stressout with the moving too. God give me strenght.

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